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FMLs submitted from California

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

#21519574
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:18am - love - by CaptMacLeod (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

#21519494
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you deserved it (1156)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

#21519267
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/25/2016 at 1:02pm - work - by Tiffer27 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

#21519030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19982) - you deserved it (1408)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:04pm - misc - by helloimkylieee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (5386)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

#21518464
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (1493)

On 01/23/2016 at 5:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

#21518238
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20455) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/22/2016 at 4:28pm - love - by OhNo - United States (California)

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, I found out that the huge project I've been working on for the past week is actually a group project. Everyone in my group knew. They were just letting me do the entire thing by myself because I'm "smart". FML

#21517916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/21/2016 at 7:02pm - work - by AkiAnime - United States (California)

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

#21517333
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

#21517065
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16660) - you deserved it (5683)

On 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by xsnqw - United States (California)



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