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FMLs submitted from California

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24172) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

#21445936
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23741) - you deserved it (2278)

On 07/23/2015 at 11:07am - health - by rhcpgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent $70 on party supplies for my sister's bachelorette party, another hour decorating, three hours baking and designing a cake, before waiting five hours to hear that she and another bridesmaid had 'moved' the party elsewhere. Cake anyone? FML

#21445882
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (1628)

On 07/23/2015 at 7:53am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

#21445738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/22/2015 at 11:18pm - health - by skyllabeauty1234 - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML

#21445196
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (1679)

On 07/21/2015 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2296)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (7274)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (2109)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

#21444252
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (1682)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by creepedout (woman) - United States (California)



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