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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (10716)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (1983)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (6735)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (2105)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

#21406019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (4823)

On 05/07/2015 at 1:12am - work - by CASH_NoMOMEY - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (30995)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (11870)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (4469)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)



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