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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

#19048946 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (5011) - you deserved it (653)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

#19039912 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (4649) - you deserved it (928)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

#19023656 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (8103) - you deserved it (925)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (7459) - you deserved it (568)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8023) - you deserved it (1992)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (5763) - you deserved it (1013)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#18963505 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (1869) - you deserved it (11099)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (5468) - you deserved it (1252)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. I presented her with an oil painting of her that I'd been working on for over a month, and she started to cry. I thought it was because she liked it, until she asked if she really looks that ugly and disproportionate in real life. FML

#18943380 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (894)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (431)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (735)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor - United States (California)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (6003) - you deserved it (578)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML

#18931669 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (664)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)