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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

#21525248
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (710) - you deserved it (73)

On 02/11/2016 at 6:18pm - love - by HelpPlease - United States (California)

Today, while driving around with my brother and his idiotic friends, one of them decided it would be a brilliant idea to throw a hot sauce packet out of the car window at a moving vehicle. I've never seen someone angry enough to stop and get out of a vehicle that fast. FML

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

#21523593
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (1379)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18375) - you deserved it (4290)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML

#21520740
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (1427)

On 01/29/2016 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I don't have to work tomorrow. Normally I would be thrilled to hear this, but not from the 6 o'clock news, doing a piece on my work's rat infestation and indefinite shut down. FML

#21520317
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (1252)

On 01/28/2016 at 2:02am - work - by imahater07 - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

#21519574
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:18am - love - by CaptMacLeod (man) - United States (California)



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