FMLs submitted from Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health

Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML

by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law turned up at my doorstep close to midnight, drunk off her tits, crying about how my wife is punishing her and throwing her life away by marrying me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 5:20am / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

by infrontofninepeople / 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Transportation

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

by virgacs / 12/01/2014 at 8:58am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

by fledermausi / 06/12/2012 at 9:02am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

by Lotje13 / 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

by Byron fiddles / 02/24/2009 at 6:57am / Hungary (Budapest) / Intimacy