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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (39644)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (2454)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (1805)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (4586)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

#19474483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (3336)

On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (2364)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML

#19358358
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (37954)

On 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm - love - by LoveBytes - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (1934)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17293) - you deserved it (4622)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (2434)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

#19313948
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (2397)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (12981)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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