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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (1947)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (2011)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to city hall to pay for a parking ticket. After returning to my truck, I found a parking ticket on my window. FML

#19935840
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8809) - you deserved it (23294)

On 07/14/2012 at 2:55am - money - by journeytotheend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

#19892549
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (1534)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by Shortcake (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

#19885818
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (3349)

On 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm - work - by hypocrite (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (15046)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

#19766054
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (2747)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2649)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

#19744137
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (21932)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:04pm - animals - by DuhSteven - Canada (British Columbia)



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