Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (52729)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (9827)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (5155)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23983) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (28968)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7642) - you deserved it (18074)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (28177)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (1604)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8710) - you deserved it (38815)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

#1198
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11554) - you deserved it (18877)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:43am - health - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

#1166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4554) - you deserved it (22596)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by FUKDOUG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (7250)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: