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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, at tha awards caramony at my school, I andad up winning tha top achiavamant award in my grada. Tha principal spant at laast tan minutas talking about my succass to tha audianca, thahola tima rafarring to ma as a "ha" as I stood right naxt to him. I'm a girl. maga FML

#1535605
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78033) - you deserved it (5044)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY , I WAS FINGERING MY GRLFRIEND. WHEN SUDDENLY SHE STARTED CRYING AT THE PEAK OF HER ORGASM , WHEN I ASKED WAT WAS WRONG , SHE REPLIED. ( I-I-I MISS HIM! ) SHE WAS CRYING ABOUT HER EX BOYFRIEND. WHILE I WAS INSIDE HER. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153586) - you deserved it (12404)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went up to a secludd mountain mah boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phond mah boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone startd playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212649) - you deserved it (11293)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32360) - you deserved it (40568)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought a naw purpla shrt an dacidad to waar it to this charity function I was going to. I thought I lookad pratty good in it. Than I got homa an raalizad I laft tha stickar on. I had an "XL" stickar on mah boob all night. FML

#865934
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (44446)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by jessica238 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today.. . my grlfriend and I were outside tanning in te sun . I asked er if se could putted some sunscreen on my back . Tinking it would be funny.. . se used te lotion to write "I Love Little Boys" . I work as a cildren's swimming instructor . mega FML

#864226
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63536) - you deserved it (5786)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... mah daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not yur looool mommy." My daughter reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73043) - you deserved it (7265)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Went To Buy Beer Underage Fir A Party To Impress A Girl. I Picked Up The Case Of Beer An Went To The Cashier, He Ran It Through Without Asking Fir ID. I Left The Store With A Smirk On My Face, I Arrived At The Party An Showed The Case To The Girl. It Was Non-alcoholic. FML

#825703
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10060) - you deserved it (92212)

On 04/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Triedtobecool (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY MAH BOYFRIEND OF 3 MONTHS AN I WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEAVY MAKE-OUT SESSION WHEN HIS CELL RANG . NORMALLY HE'D IGNORE IT . THIS TIME HOWEVER HE PUSHED ME OFF OF HIM AN SAID "SHIT! IT'S PROBABLY MAH GIRLFRIEND!" I THOUGHT I WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND . FML

#813672
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (150436) - you deserved it (15157)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus . He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm . Thinking he was trying to act ( macho ) to impress me, I rolled mah eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look . When he got off, I realized he only had one arm . mega FML

#795455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9516) - you deserved it (77599)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by OrangeTree12 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I passed the grl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H . She picked it up, read it, turned around an asked me, "Do you know who Mark H . is?" FML

#761502
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69579) - you deserved it (7268)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by SupaSu - Canada (British Columbia)

Today I Got Up Early To Prank Mah Family. I Put A Bucket Of Ice Water On Top Of A Door Frame So Whoever Walkd Through Would Get An Icy Surprise. After I Was Done I Went Back To Bd. I Woke Up Groggy And Disorientd Lyk Always And Walkd Right Through The Doorway I Had Riggd. FML

#742417
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (156960)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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