Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (5528)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48425) - you deserved it (8302)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you deserved it (78121)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

#3510795
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60569) - you deserved it (2492)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

#3454953
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (14510)

On 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43544) - you deserved it (14984)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (45997)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

#3314911
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (46571)

On 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by URGH (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

#3155973
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (9110)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

#3050286
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (4307)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by babasheep - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teeny-tiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didn't shake my hand back. FML

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (65562)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

#2921881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47129) - you deserved it (6217)

On 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Hotdamnthisismyjam (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: