FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

by B_McG / 11/25/2009 at 1:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to close my legs and stop checking out her man. FML

by Yapanesedidwhat / 11/16/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

by cndpost / 11/13/2009 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

by Sursion / 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

by grossedout / 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

by lauren_rox / 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

by MissBeEyeTeeSeeH / 11/08/2009 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

by mack / 10/25/2009 at 4:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

by BoogieCandy. / 10/23/2009 at 4:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work