FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

by ninjapup / 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

by Singleton / 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2009 at 2:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

by C45 / 12/25/2009 at 3:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

by stupid_world / 12/24/2009 at 1:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

by Poser / 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

by makeitstop / 12/02/2009 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous