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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

#3155973
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45073) - you deserved it (8662)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

#3050286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36384) - you deserved it (4064)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by babasheep - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (62963)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

#2921881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39563) - you deserved it (4736)

On 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Hotdamnthisismyjam (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50811) - you deserved it (2400)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64673) - you deserved it (14313)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75278) - you deserved it (5601)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (97813)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63056) - you deserved it (6438)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

#2634105
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53304) - you deserved it (4298)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by KL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (32594)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

#2424875
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68179) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:52am - intimacy - by nevergoingonabusagain (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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