FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

by 42 / 07/07/2010 at 5:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

by Gary / 06/27/2010 at 12:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

by Crumpet / 06/25/2010 at 3:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

by Kbizz / 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

by EmbarrassedDaughter / 05/23/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

by fatpooch / 05/13/2010 at 2:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

by bad boyfriend / 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

by Loser / 03/17/2010 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

by Painfulfaceforme / 03/13/2010 at 9:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

by RustyGuy / 03/05/2010 at 1:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

by SingleSara. / 03/02/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love