Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

#7088196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by Singleton (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

#7029782
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11842) - you deserved it (34346)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

#6940899
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by C45 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

#6914800
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:02am - love - by stupid_world (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

#6848390
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (5123)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

#6838288
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4453) - you deserved it (39449)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by Poser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

#6704507
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2080)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

#6563904
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3738)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:14am - work - by makeitstop - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

#6507762
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10680) - you deserved it (22230)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: