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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (16997)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (3408)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (65275)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12863) - you deserved it (27278)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

#13230850
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by bibobobonnor (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (6168)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (3409)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (55158)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (15000)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38924) - you deserved it (12784)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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