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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (6544)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51676) - you deserved it (14897)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

#20987886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (4117)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

#20980804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (2238)

On 12/04/2013 at 7:00pm - misc - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (7146)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (2729)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57511) - you deserved it (6011)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (5333)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43203) - you deserved it (14288)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45863) - you deserved it (5121)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (4493)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (5395)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49456) - you deserved it (10667)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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