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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (5886)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (3967)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (3098)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (50942)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (14206)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (12053)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41762) - you deserved it (4571)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7096) - you deserved it (43286)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (4647)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (6339)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

#12072819
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (7104)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49033) - you deserved it (5840)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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