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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6222) - you deserved it (50775)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (14187)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (4544)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (12035)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (4382)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (43175)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (4639)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

#12072819
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (6819)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (5740)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (54771)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

#11718705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (23733)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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