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Today , as I got to mah first class seat on an airplane , I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply . It's an eight hour flight . FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. mega FML
today while parking my car, I accidentally bumpd into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replid by keying the entire right side of my car.
Today,hile I was out of the house, mah 6 year old brother stole mah new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML
Today, mah doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now mah doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
Today, I woke up to mah yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, an mah noisy, obnoxious aunt an her three year old twin daughters playing an screaming . They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays . It's only November 18th . FML
Today, at work I was looking for mah lost wallet . After hours of looking I gave up an looool went home . The wallet then shows up in mah mail box with an envelope markd ( To the asshole . ) I opend the letter an it was filld with poop . My wallet too . FML
Today, I was mad at mah mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told mah math teacher that she should allow bathroom break because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
Yesterday, mah little cousin is going to be staying at our house 4 a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't 4 the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts ( looool GO F YOURSELF! ) drectly into mah ear. Only another 11 months to go. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015