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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

#14732646
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (7124)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:15pm - love - by shouldveknown (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (6071)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17055) - you deserved it (65874)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (4540)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (7135)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (3475)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

#14197688
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5915) - you deserved it (36542)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by driver26 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

#14162371
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (9680)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:40am - misc - by immunizations - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

#14023437
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (3447)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by fmylife. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (7900)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)



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