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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (11674)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39453) - you deserved it (4370)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7018) - you deserved it (43005)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (4631)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (6076)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

#12072819
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (6802)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (5608)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14585) - you deserved it (54594)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

#11718705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (23672)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

#11486568
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (9219)

On 06/27/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Gary - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

#11445252
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/25/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Crumpet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

#10930863
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (27865)

On 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by Kbizz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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