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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18398) - you deserved it (41416)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

#16000411
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (7492)

On 05/01/2011 at 3:03am - misc - by Steve.mc - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (17768)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (15494)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (7279)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (6299)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (7788)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (6131)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (4335)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7480) - you deserved it (40252)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

#14754887
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (3647)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (2729)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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