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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10075) - you deserved it (60527)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10815) - you deserved it (24281)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

#13230850
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by bibobobonnor (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I bought a brand new 72" flatscreen TV. After getting it hooked up and working, we went out for a smoke. Hearing this crashing and smashing noise, I went inside to find out my 2 year old daughter had found a metal pole and decided to use it on the TV. FML

#13012319
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15212) - you deserved it (35431)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (5662)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (50536)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (14145)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (4438)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

#12582997
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (11666)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (4368)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)



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