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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16200) - you deserved it (62830)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (4415)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

#14197688
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5613) - you deserved it (35576)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by driver26 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

#14162371
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (9315)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:40am - misc - by immunizations - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

#14023437
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by fmylife. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (7586)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (3387)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (6007)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (2370)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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