Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (2092)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (1858)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (2380)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

#17516576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3865)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Reena (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was about to drive out of a parking lot. The space in front of me was empty, so I figured I could drive forward. I'd not noticed that there was a median in front, and my car got stuck. FML

#17508471
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (28187)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Lousydriver (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

#17497272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/17/2011 at 3:14am - money - by AshamedDaughter - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (5167)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (28100)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

#17418285
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34163) - you deserved it (4024)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm - love - by MrOh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

#17415513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (3916)

On 08/09/2011 at 3:35am - work - by smurfpoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML

#17332249
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (12081)

On 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by howniceofyou (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (76906)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2691)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: