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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (15417)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (7139)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (6059)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (7597)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

#15257767
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (5931)

On 03/10/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7431) - you deserved it (40011)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

#14754887
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (3629)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

#14732646
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (6868)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:15pm - love - by shouldveknown (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (4744)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (6039)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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