Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4566) - you deserved it (38199)
On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (10609)
On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (3392)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (10024)
On 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (3987)
On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5220) - you deserved it (31624)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (3584)
On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (4705)
On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (5268)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (4302)
On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (41414)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (2822)
On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (21397)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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