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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

#17981925
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (2155)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

#17921774
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (1801)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm - work - by hazlanz216 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17786213
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (4664)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (1745)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (2373)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

#17516576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Reena (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was about to drive out of a parking lot. The space in front of me was empty, so I figured I could drive forward. I'd not noticed that there was a median in front, and my car got stuck. FML

#17508471
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7443) - you deserved it (26651)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Lousydriver (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

#17497272
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/17/2011 at 3:14am - money - by AshamedDaughter - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (5156)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (27452)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)



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