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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (5016)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

#19474483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML

#19358358
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (41908)

On 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm - love - by LoveBytes - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (2218)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (5078)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (2736)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

#19313948
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (2695)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (13638)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (2753)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

#19244068
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (4462)

On 03/09/2012 at 3:30am - health - by Rissa Warrington - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (54401)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)



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