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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

#21443781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (1699)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (8262)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (1973)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (4552)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (2713)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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