FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

by PlsForget / 08/18/2016 at 5:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today at camp, we were choosing teams for capture the flag. It's embarrassing to be chosen last, but today I learnt it's even more embarrassing to not be chosen at all. FML

by lastinclass / 07/13/2016 at 5:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

by J-Sauce / 06/20/2016 at 10:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML

by Nanda / 06/14/2016 at 2:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my professor called me out for drinking whiskey in class. I was actually drinking iced tea. FML

by Imagino1234 / 06/02/2016 at 12:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized one of my best friends was only friends with me because I would take her shopping, spoil her regularly, and help her out financially. She moved to another province and only contacted me whenever she wanted money. After I refused a couple of times, she deleted me on Facebook. FML

by Less Friendship, More Cash / 05/06/2016 at 7:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML

by Trew Love / 05/03/2016 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, once again someone pointed out how much my brother and boyfriend look alike. FML

by tellyc / 04/25/2016 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 3:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML

by ProudASDmom / 03/29/2016 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

by hollyglambert / 03/27/2016 at 1:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.