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FMLs submitted from Birmingham

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

#18510886
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2467)

On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

#18078802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (4049)

On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

#14119620
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10802) - you deserved it (37129)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by openmouthinsertfoot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (4902)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (15226)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8886) - you deserved it (46559)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (3813)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (7445)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8046) - you deserved it (30897)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (6789)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

#4600663
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

#2008725
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61463) - you deserved it (18258)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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