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FMLs submitted from Berlin

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (2904)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (5367)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (3347)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36492) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46312) - you deserved it (2726)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (4479)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (9869)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

#11960471
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (18316)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (3164)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (2099)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

#568
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45045) - you deserved it (6725)

On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)



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