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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Bayern

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

#18493088 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (4019)

On 12/12/2011 at 8:45am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

#16468049 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (41407) - you deserved it (3302)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by jsalmons - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

#6151302 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (5081)

On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

#4498593 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (48223)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by drunkard (man) - Germany (Bayern)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later; I was feeling devilish, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

#3955327 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (4987) - you deserved it (45007)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by debodave (man) - Germany (Bayern)