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FMLs submitted from Auckland

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

#5119886
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37089) - you deserved it (13418)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55393) - you deserved it (9933)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

#4541155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58998) - you deserved it (6432)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:30am - love - by fmexgirlfriend (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got my annual blood test. The nurse was inexperienced and it took her several tries to insert the needle properly. When I get back home, my fiancé starts yelling at me and storms out. The reason? I am a recovering drug addict and my arm appeared as if I had been shooting up. FML

#4372351
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (5818)

On 08/07/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by lydiacoolness (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

#3762985
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (6106)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by blotchy-girl (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

#3415311
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (20044)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the girl I am in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she is even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I am such a special friend to her and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML

#2732892
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60991) - you deserved it (5474)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by doomed (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML

#2302779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44012) - you deserved it (7139)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:23am - health - by squishyboy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62509) - you deserved it (7946)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML



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