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FMLs submitted from Auckland

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (7249)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (15704)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (55456)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (6087)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

#8580387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (5925)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by car_FAILure (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

#8509924
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4413) - you deserved it (40507)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

#8375974
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25138) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by ceilingssuck (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (34054)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

#7378425
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (6664)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (2862)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML

#6914646
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10340) - you deserved it (23249)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by homeless4Christmas (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (27009)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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