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FMLs submitted from Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (46219)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (10428)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (6091)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (6271)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

#17475917
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:16am - love - by Alex (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

#15617412
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (4327)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (62617)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11643) - you deserved it (22884)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)



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