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FMLs submitted from Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (26339)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (3559)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38141) - you deserved it (9140)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
72 comments

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55157) - you deserved it (9091)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (8547)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)



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