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FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (10374)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

#15739325
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (5906)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:20am - love - by sandyhome (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

#15577647
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35743) - you deserved it (4849)

On 03/31/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

#15232480
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15731) - you deserved it (34021)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34163) - you deserved it (5060)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

#14988782
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (6864)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (4343)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

#14365818
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (5035)

On 12/28/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

#14044741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (3429)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (16737)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35213) - you deserved it (7405)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

#9244161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (6137)

On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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