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FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

#18996569
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (4480)

On 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by dasnich (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

#18883322
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (4895)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm - love - by Jeff G. - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

#18683836
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/02/2012 at 4:44am - love - by haphazard2007 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

#18201929
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30045) - you deserved it (4827)

On 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by exiledliscense - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

#17964830
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35268) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/12/2011 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ksamp - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

#17777792
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (1888)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

#17579563
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7948) - you deserved it (33043)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

#17535698
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (1957)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

#17139363
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (12975)

On 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm - health - by adamclmns (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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