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FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

Today, my life finally seemed to be getting on track after recovering from major depression, paying off most of my debt, and scoring an amazing job. And then I woke up. FML

#21509885
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (1917)

On 12/31/2015 at 7:41pm - health - by sad as shit - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

#21487370
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

#21483973
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

#21481410
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (5214)

On 10/18/2015 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

#21469946
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/18/2015 at 5:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (2220)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

#21428214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by allisonpaige21 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

#21425418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (2692)

On 06/13/2015 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (3662)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (6792)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (2746)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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