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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

#18996569 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (5099) - you deserved it (1200)

On 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by dasnich (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

#18883322 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (1389)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm - love - by Jeff G. - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (9730) - you deserved it (1003)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

#18683836 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (741)

On 01/02/2012 at 4:44am - love - by haphazard2007 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

#18201929 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (10681) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by exiledliscense - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (10981) - you deserved it (1054)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

#17964830 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (1617)

On 10/12/2011 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ksamp - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

#17777792 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (1297)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (780)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

#17579563 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (2910) - you deserved it (10183)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

#17547030 (679)

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (1489)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

#17535698 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (1311)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

#17139363 (292)

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (9817)

On 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm - health - by adamclmns (man) - United States (Arkansas)