Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (16209)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35188) - you deserved it (16410)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (9778)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (3552)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (4398)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (3746)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16524) - you deserved it (109305)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (128664)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46571) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57562) - you deserved it (14338)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47348) - you deserved it (7981)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: