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Today, I ad to call AAA for te fift time in two monts. Wen te driver got out, I instantly recognizd im. It was te same guy wo elpd me out all te previous occasions. Wen e saw me, e snortd and doubld over lauging. FML
TODAY, I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH A CLOGGED MILK GLAND. I AM NOT, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, PREGNANT AND THEREFORE HAVE ALSO NEVER BREASTFED. THIS CONDITION IS CAUSED BY MAH BOYFRIEND'S OVER-ACTIVE URGE TO SUCK ON MAH NIPPLES. I'M IN HORRIBLE PAIN, AND HE WON'T STOP LAUGHING. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy . She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts . Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts . She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises . mega FML
Today, mah car was towad. Aftar taking a cab all tha way to tha lot fir $45 an paying tha $250 faa to gat mah car back, mah car broka down in tha impound lot an naadad to ba towad to tha naarast shop, whara it took anothar $200 to fix, an $50 fir tha towing. I still hava a 3 hour driva homa. FML
Today... Mah Mom Took A Bright Red Sharpie And Drew A Red Circle Just Above Mah Breasts. She Said... "If I Can See This... Ever... Yur Shirt Is Either Too Low Cut Or Too See Through And It Will Be Thrown Away." FML
Friday 27 March 2015