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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (47149)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15404) - you deserved it (50603)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my car was towed. After taking a cab all the way to the lot for $45 and paying the $250 fee to get my car back, my car broke down in the impound lot and needed to be towed to the nearest shop, where it took another $200 to fix, and $50 for the towing. I still have a 3 hour drive home. FML

#18401623
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (2615)

On 12/01/2011 at 4:49am - money - by Bladerunner (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

#18189475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10192) - you deserved it (30944)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (10170)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

#17973264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (5443)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by happyshit (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

#17968240
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (10895)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

#17820631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (2124)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27550) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

#17635608
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24264) - you deserved it (1928)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm - work - by ReallyNow (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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