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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

#19306570
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3927)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:14am - misc - by bitchyhiccups (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (2599)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

#19253027
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2573)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

#19196280
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm - love - by eeelise5296 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (5434)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (2423)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13222) - you deserved it (49186)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (5640)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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