Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21081) - you deserved it (1799)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (2737)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (4543)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

#19399290
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (4121)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

#19381159
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:22am - love - by swim5 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (23201)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you deserved it (4599)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

#19306570
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4000)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:14am - misc - by bitchyhiccups (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (2606)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

#19253027
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (2555)

On 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (2578)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

#19196280
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm - love - by eeelise5296 - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: