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FMLs submitted from Arizona

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND AND I HAD SEX. AFTER A WHILE, HE STARTED STARING AT MAH LADY PARTS, AND SAID MAH "VAG LOOKS LIKE A MOCKINGJAY". HE THEN STRETCHED THE LIPS APART LIKE WINGS AND MADE LITTLE "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" SOUNDS. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58498) - you deserved it (9410)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I decidd to have a quickie before the kids woke up from there nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children cummd busting in with there nerf guns, screaming, ( Where's the monster? ) FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53698) - you deserved it (32539)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I usad tha rastroom at a mall. I thought I was alona, so I startad singing. Whan I got out of tha stall, thara wara man staring at ma. Not only did I ambarrass mysalf with my own singing, I'd accidantally usad tha man's rastroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (21043)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today.. . a wierd guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert . Everyone talked abouthat a creep he was . I would have too.. . but he was my dad . fat FML

#20997867
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (4480)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I swallowed and nerely choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass . It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it . FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a grl cama up and huggad ma. At frst I was frightanad, but than I askad who sha was. Turns out sha was tha kid I babysat for 3 yaars. Sha criad whan sha looool raalizad I didn't ramambar har, than thraw graval in mah faca and ran away. FML

Today a customer called me "chink eyes" "dog eater" "bloody Chinese communist" an "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54104) - you deserved it (3429)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not cuz the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but cuz I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book lerening". mega FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (9582)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

I was at the doctor's getting a check up!! He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a werd look an said, "Don't worry, I won't give u cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40899) - you deserved it (6702)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , I found out aftar spanding mah lifa's incoma on paying for mah grandma's cancar traatmant that sha has baan faking it. maga FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56275) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out someone as a crus on me. Normally I'd be fine wit tis, if it weren't fir tat fact tat tis guy informed me tat e as collected pictures of me since te tird grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks.

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene an told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by ( someone who doesn't have a thigh gap. ) real FML



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