FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

by IrNatalie / 06/02/2015 at 4:59am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

by Vlen / 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

by WolfAvenge / 05/21/2015 at 4:01am / United States (Arizona) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

by advanced history teacher / 04/27/2015 at 12:58am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

by biblepain / 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

by ilovecharliesheen / 03/17/2015 at 3:14am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

by why / 03/15/2015 at 9:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

by fruitoftheloom / 03/09/2015 at 1:13am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

by Mommycakes / 03/03/2015 at 8:14am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous