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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131035) - you deserved it (10226)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62329) - you deserved it (9527)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

#554363
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66898) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73312) - you deserved it (7052)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#278323
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62354) - you deserved it (13975)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by justfat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (10597)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328720) - you deserved it (28673)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12160) - you deserved it (45644)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

#45051
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (8669)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46342) - you deserved it (7192)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized my best friend has had it off in my apartment more times than I have. FML

#12896
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (4795)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:23am - misc - by paradox (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML

#5857
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (44657)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (26034)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)



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