FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

by the_music_major / 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

by kitty / 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

by soccerlove09 / 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

by toazt / 10/10/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

by screwthewilderness / 10/04/2010 at 2:46am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

by dontask / 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

by muffins69 / 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 2:18am / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

by mylifeblows / 08/19/2010 at 2:15am / United States (Arizona) / Love