Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (3143)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

#8388229
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (1991)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:46pm - misc - by WTFsalad (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (35974)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (42646)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (2546)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

#7922927
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (2418)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:09am - love - by Crud (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (7186)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

#7247927
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (2585)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm - misc - by 1thapp3ns (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

#7098506
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

#6990979
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (3582)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: