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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (9375)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (3057)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87713) - you deserved it (5707)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

#11217178
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41261) - you deserved it (6685)

On 06/15/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

#10974262
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (18385)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband decided he will be a 'stay at home' dad. We have two cats. No kids. FML

#10938544
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:44am - animals - by Kate - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (8054)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17037) - you deserved it (40667)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (5521)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (32399)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (3966)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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