Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML

#14780343
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (33141)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by gotnogame (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML

#14686261
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (2181)

On 01/23/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (29928)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (4742)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (4051)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (6408)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51078) - you deserved it (4373)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (12329)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

#14150081
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (31765)

On 12/10/2010 at 1:53am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

#14113537
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (4788)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

#13975253
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2712)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by blenderbookf (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

#13949497
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (52660)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a broken engraved bracelet that I paid 50 dollars for. I was so angry but when I stated "I am going to call them and get a new one!" my boyfriend said back to me "No it's okay, I didn't really like it anyways." It was for our 2 year anniversary. FML

#13837334
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (13737)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: