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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (3056)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

#17170147
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (29992)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm - intimacy - by RobinBunny713 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

#17078615
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (2806)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (79758)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

#17018036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (2864)

On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

#16954796
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13647) - you deserved it (44916)

On 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by T-Guy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mother to pay back the $50 she owes me. Rather than paying me back, she raced off to "work". She's been unemployed for 3 years. FML

#16926671
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (3964)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:43pm - work - by FMarinasL (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (2864)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

#16460145
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (2426)

On 06/01/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by evomadrid24 - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (5203)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

#16430748
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (4276)

On 05/31/2011 at 2:49am - work - by Me - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML

#16116950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (18264)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Phantommajik - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (8265)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)



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