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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (4460) - you deserved it (340)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (3174) - you deserved it (857)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (6055) - you deserved it (584)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (12080) - you deserved it (825)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (3362) - you deserved it (12627)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (9949) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (18575) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (3951) - you deserved it (11491)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my car was towed. After taking a cab all the way to the lot for $45 and paying the $250 fee to get my car back, my car broke down in the impound lot and needed to be towed to the nearest shop, where it took another $200 to fix, and $50 for the towing. I still have a 3 hour drive home. FML

#18401623 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (8522) - you deserved it (925)

On 12/01/2011 at 4:49am - money - by Bladerunner (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

#18189475 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (3287) - you deserved it (9228)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (7130)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

#17973264 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (17130) - you deserved it (3755)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by happyshit (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

#17968240 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (5708) - you deserved it (3499)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)