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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17660) - you deserved it (1429)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML

#21521037
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (5811)

On 01/30/2016 at 2:45am - money - by :/ - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

#21520140
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (3183)

On 01/27/2016 at 5:35pm - work - by westwoodcosmo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (1387)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told a customer the bread he wanted has been discontinued. He replied with, "Are you serious? What is your name? I'm going up front to complain about you." I still don't understand how that's specifically my fault. FML

#21513672
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (1219)

On 01/10/2016 at 6:53pm - work - by fritzile - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML

Today, I was at a small secret Santa with a group of friends. Everyone got each other some amazing gifts, the first person got a homemade self portrait, the second person got some professional grade playing cards, the third person got an album of past memories, and I got a pack of pens. FML

#21506318
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (1563)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

#21504421
51 comments

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

#21492788
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (2126)

On 11/15/2015 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I figured out why my 'best friend' hasn't talked to me in weeks. She assumed an FML post she read was about her. It was posted in 2009. I met her last year. FML

#21487650
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (1630)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by likecomeon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML

#21480292
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/15/2015 at 2:24am - misc - by cookie_lover_xx - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

#21479940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/14/2015 at 9:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#21478153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/10/2015 at 3:21am - kids - by JGarz (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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