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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

#21449844
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (25369)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:38am - intimacy - by doodoobref - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2058)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2822)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister told me that the only reason I like one guy is because he looks exactly like the guy that dumped me. I showed her two pictures to argue against it, and ended up proving her right. FML

#21424094
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (5282)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:14pm - love - by didn't notice for 2 years - United States (Arizona)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (1571)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (3204)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (22821)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3651)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML



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