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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (26836)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46001) - you deserved it (4628)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (5444)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (3016)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52566) - you deserved it (4106)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

#20803510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (3644)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm - kids - by JealousBratMuch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42606) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48493) - you deserved it (23888)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (3692)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (7040)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53635) - you deserved it (4735)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48775) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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