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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (3307)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (2638)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (86032)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32084) - you deserved it (2955)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (2215)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (26792)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45355) - you deserved it (4549)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49858) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41471) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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