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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

#765740
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (48709)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

#713062
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110974) - you deserved it (5860)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

#481871
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99755) - you deserved it (5614)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

#131140
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (3789)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (33594)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (5703)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (6596)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (8743)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (8848)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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