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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (5295)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (1711)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (31996)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

#8492061
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (4311)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

#8324866
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (30852)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (2465)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (4725)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (3260)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (7684)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (9131)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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