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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (9515)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33972) - you deserved it (2695)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (2459)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

#6365163
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5778) - you deserved it (41478)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (6546)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (24576)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8858) - you deserved it (33354)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

#6293828
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (2461)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML

#6268731
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (6762)

On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (3222)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (1730)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)



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