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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

#7470937
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:33am - work - by Bob (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (8005)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (4049)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

#7199217
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:42pm - money - by Animal_aide (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (4933)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

#6950494
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (2674)

On 12/26/2009 at 1:10am - love - by Foam (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6193) - you deserved it (29799)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (2220)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (9542)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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