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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (7136)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

#10705425
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (6686)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:47am - love - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing. They were supposed to call me today or tomorrow with the news. Today is also the day that my phone company decided to cut my phone off. FML

#10648270
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (4818)

On 05/20/2010 at 12:58pm - work - by goodtiming (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

#10532654
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (4337)

On 05/14/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (27491)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3252)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (5283)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (1664)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6686) - you deserved it (31336)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (3272)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

#8492061
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (4291)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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