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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

#14086512
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (2233)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19617) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (6514)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (2630)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (23655)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12688) - you deserved it (32385)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (10005)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (5389)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that my new roommate likes to take the loose hair when she showers and make shapes with it on the shower wall. She calls it art. FML

#13642411
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

#13615368
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (2682)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thjeltz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

#13537092
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27915) - you deserved it (3745)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML

#13318018
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (4350)

On 10/04/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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