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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54506) - you deserved it (6716)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (66331)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47082) - you deserved it (6125)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (5040)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45279) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42409) - you deserved it (5206)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41368) - you deserved it (4327)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41473) - you deserved it (4235)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (22051)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

#21084802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (3616)

On 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by KBBL (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been waiting for a very important document in the mail. It has been two months. I reviewed my application and realized I forgot to put a mailing address down. FML

#21081681
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (18299)

On 03/08/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by AmericanAlien (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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